Joan will have died three weeks ago tomorrow. I still haven’t got the paper work I need to do from the damn lawyer. And last night I realized, trying to fall asleep, that I don’t know where her ashes are. The mortuary was going to mail them. And I remember having given somebody the address for the Ora Church, and I remember having spoken to Reverend Roper about the sending along the ashes. But I don’t know if the mortuary mailed them or not. Damn, it would be a bummer if her ashes got lost in the mail.
We are trying to figure a date when we might all get back there to the little graveyard in Ora, SC. We are aiming I think for June 10. Brother Dave can make it then, and it looks as if Brother Steve is going too, and perhaps Nephew Brian, and Brother Dan wants to go I think. But it’s hard for him to make plans. He wants to go back to work of course, and he has some sort of meeting with the people at his former work this week. At the same time his therapy people want him to concentrate only on getting better and not thinking too much about getting back to work. So it would be awkward for him to go back to work, if that happens, and then say he has to split for a week to go to a funeral.
On top of that, his doctor people are talking more and more about working on the artery that is half open. And that makes going back to work even more awkward. Because no sooner would he get back to work than he might have to go to the funeral or have an operation, whichever comes first, and there is no telling at this point how long the recovery from the surgery, if done, would take.
So I had a talk with him about all this yesterday and given the very, very uncertainty of his plans, I said we would just have to aim for June and see how the chips fell and he seemed to go along with that.
Which reminds me, I need to contact Wilson Memorials and get Joan’s departure date chiseled into the Tingle Stone next to WB. I seem to be fretting about the etiquette of this though. I wonder what Emily Post would have to say. Is it more proper to have the dates already chiseled in at the time of the burial or more appropriate to leave the date blank until after the funeral. I would hate to make some sort of gross funeral faux pas.
Brother Steve said that Joan’s obituary appeared in the North County Times:
Joan Tingle, 84
ESCONDIDO — Joan Kaller Tingle, 84, died Tuesday, April 10, 2007, in Escondido.
Born May 20, 1922, in Canada she lived in Spring Valley for one year. She was a homemaker.
She is survived by sons William Tingle of Santa Barbara, Stephen Tingle of Escondido, David Tingle of Spring Valley and Dan Tingle of Santa Barbara; six grandchildren and one great-grandchild.
Inurnment will be at Ora Associate Reformed Church, Gray Court, S.C.
Alhiser-Comer Mortuary is handling arrangements.
Joan lived in Spring Valley for a good twenty years. So that was wrong. And there is no William Tingle. I am Nicholas Tingle, even though my name is legally William Nicholas Tingle. William is WB’s name. Not mine.
I hereby declare to whomsoever might be interested that when I die I want Nicholas Tingle only to appear on whatever form of memorial, if there should so chance to be one, (stone or little box) that signifies my final resting place.
That’s Joan in 1936. Not the person I knew.