Yea, what the hell am I doing with a safe? Honestly, had someone ever asked, do you see a safe some day in your life, I would have said, hell no, what the hell are you talking about, why would I need one of those things. What a stupid question? Do you work for a safe company or something….This from a guy who once kept all of his money in a coffee can under the bed.
From a coffee can to a safe…this marks some sort of significant transition, but from what to what I couldn’t say. You don’t get a safe not to put something in it. But I don’t have much to put in it. My birth certificate, if I knew where it was. Or my passport, if I had one. Or maybe the death certificates for Joan and WB, if I knew where those were.
Actually I got if for Carol. She inherited some jewelry from her mother; it’s not all hers, some is to go to her sister. And I could see she was a little anxious about having this stuff just lying around. We were going to put it in a safe deposit box at the bank, but the safe deposit box was way too small. So I said let’s buy a safe.
Knowing Costco sells a little bit of everything I went on line and sure enough they had some safes, and then when I went to do my food shopping, I saw this safe for 100 dollars less than was advertised on line (say alleluia). So I said to Carol, let’s go get it.
The damn thing weighs about 200 pounds, that’s good in a safe I guess. But no way I was going to lift it, so we got an assist from the Costco assistants. One guy helped us get it on the flat, and another guy helped us get in the car. I have to admit I don’t have the muscle I once had. Hell, I never had any muscle. I was thin but wiry. I had more strength than it looked like. But now I can’t get the lid off bottle of olives. Well, I could get it off but I don’t want to hurt myself; so I stick a knife in the lid and the damn lid comes right off.
But the helper guys at Costco were polite, and didn’t say anything like, what’s wrong with you, you bony, decaying old man? The kid lifted the safe like it was a leaf or something.
Carol and I together huffing and puffing rolled it up the stairs to the second floor of our condo. There it sits slowly sinking into the mess around it. We have got to figure out where to put it and how to set the lock. You can do that with fingerprint detection, or with a pin number, or, god bless them, with a key. So I guess you can set the machine to all three or maybe just use one of the ways. I favor the key. But we would have to be sure to put it some place where we won’t forget where it is. So we are proceeding with caution.