Well… I think I will try to devote a few minutes per day—20 or more—to writing something. I don’t know why I would bother to do this since I have nothing significant to say and have done or experienced nothing worth reporting. I continue to exist mostly, and perhaps, at 72 years of age, that is something to report. Not everybody lives till they are 72. I note in the daily obits that many people have failed to live till 72. Though I am not so sure that living to 72 means that one has been successful at anything. Except existing, that is.
So I continue to exist at least at the moment, though tomorrow I may not. Perhaps I could be doing something better with the little time I have remaining than this experiment with daily writing. But I am not sure what that would be. Eating? Well, that is always worth doing. But there’s a fixed limit to that. One cannot eat continually. Well, I suppose one could, and probably some people have, but I wouldn’t want to do it. And doing something else would probably require more energy than I have at the moment.
But the question remains, why should I expend the little energy I do have, when I could be taking a nap, on this writing experiment? I think a nap might be better. Maybe. Maybe not. But I have read things that suggest the elderly benefit from creative activity, like taking a class in water colors, or something to that effect. The theory appears to be that “creative” activity soothes the soul in some manner. And writing, at least in the past, has served me to some degree and in some instances (not all my any means) this function. The soothing or straightening out function, I mean.
I saw an ad for a book on this subject: the therapeutic effects, as it were, of neatening and straightening one’s stuff. I should read it. But I can’t remember where I saw the ad. In any case, I know what they mean. Neatening and straightening can make one feel an iota better. And at my age and in my current horrible condition, I am looking for iotas. An iota here and there, damn it, is what I need to get through the day. At the moment though I don’t have the energy or a sense of purpose sufficient for me to do an actual, in reality, straightening and neatening, as in, imagine: the garage.
That garage is an albatross around my neck. Every time I open that automatic door and look in, my heart contracts. Junk and crap about to tumble from overfull shelves. Twenty years of indecision and neglect all piled in one place. Overflowing with dust, and dirt, and grime. And I feel a kind of responsibility to clean that place up before I go. I mean I don’t want somebody else, probably my wife, to have to sort through that junk after I die as my brothers and I had to do through our parents crap: old clothes, napkins, pieces of metal, pictures and adult diapers.