When you start talking a lot about how you wish to be disposed of, I guess you have hit one of those life phases.
I talk fairly frequently with a woman where I work out. If she is on one machine and I am on the one next to her we talk. She had a friend, but 65 years of age, who died of cancer perhaps ten days ago. He was not responding to any of the treatments, so it was best she thought that he had gone quickly.
He had a boat, so over the weekend, she, along with other friends, and members of his family went out in the boat and scattered his ashes.
I told Carol about it and she said firmly that she does not want to be scattered to the winds, but planted in the ground, though being cremated, and stuck in a bottle and stuck in the ground would be OK. I mean she is not completely into the traditional corpse in the ground thing.
Carol has been looking for a place to put her mother who is at this very moment in the process of dying. She had found a graveyard located near the ocean, and she got the literature from them. 1500 dollars for a little cremation plot with a view overlooking the ocean. We started wondering: how do those cemeteries make money. I mean this is prime ocean front property, and 1500 doesn’t seem like all that much, I mean not for a piece of property for all eternity.
I hazarded that maybe they get a lot of tax breaks for a graveyard. I don’t know. But the upkeep really can’t be that great. There’s not a whole lot of activity in a graveyard; it’s not like people are coming and going all that much. And I have to think having corpses planted on your property does not increase your property values.
I wonder if the smart investor is looking for an up tick in graveyard stocks. Certainly over the next 20 years or so there’s going to be an increase in demand for graveyard property given that the supply of bodies will be rising.
I read that the company—one of those evil companies associated with the family of Bushes— that did the clean up charged 12000 a body for bodies left behind by Katrina. I remember reading about how the body collection had been farmed out to some company at the time. I remember thinking now that is dirty work. I wonder if the guy on Dirty Jobs has looked into body collection.
Anyhow I tried at the time to find out how much they were paying those guys out there in the sweltering sun to pick up the bodies. I wrote a song about it. But I forget the lyrics, something to do with picking up bodies at the minimum wage.
If the capitalists could figure out a way to charge you for going to heaven, they surely would and make out like bandits too.